empty yet cluttered.

somehow we’ve dodged most of the season’s storms, but in the middlest part of last week, the sky bleached white above us and unleashed half a foot of snow. school was called off and the kiddos headed out to snake trenches through the yard and bucket snow into castles. oh, and swing. swinging is good year-round.




[little M is conflicted about snow. he likes it, but also it’s cold. i understand the sentiment entirely.]


so good news: my parents and my aunty carol are coming to a neighborhood near me on FRIDAY. i am pumped. it’s nice to be on this end of the visit, when it’s pure anticipatory glee plus a mad dash of cleaning.

i’m already wary of the other end, the one where we probably won’t get to see them up close for another 4.5 years. boo.

but back to good news. they are bringing us rolls of maki sushi and guava juice and kauai kookies and everything i miss most from back home. (incidentally, does anyone else notice that everywhere is ‘back home’ with me? hawaii, indiana, michigan–it’s a wonder y’all can make out where i’m referencing at any given point in the conversation.)

i apologize, and at the same time i’m fairly certain the ambiguity will continue.


also. we’ve been studying the beatitudes in my connection group the past few sundays, and pastor mark talked about poverty of spirit and the blessing of recognizing our brokenness and our utter need for God. ‘…our whole being by its very nature is one vast need; incomplete, preparatory, empty yet cluttered, crying out for Him who can untie things that are now knotted together and tie up things that are still dangling loose’ (cs lewis, the four loves).

the leaning of this conversation brought to mind amber’s prayer: I’ve got nothing. I’ve got nothing. Only Jesus.

they’re right, those guys. i’ve got nothing to offer, i bring nothing to the table. i’m one vast, yawning need. but i have Jesus.


last up: todd’s mom sent me this video, and pretty much you need to see it.

every tribe, every tongue. He is worthy of our praise.

About nic

yes: sandwiches, trail running, tacos, juniper, rain, books. nope: crawly things. sometimes: flannel, campfires, tea.

4 thoughts on “empty yet cluttered.

  1. You all look great, Nic! Thank you Todd’s mom and thank you Nicole for this awesome video. I am thrilled that God is leading your family to Kenya. God bless you, strengthen and fill you over and over in this journey! Love you.

  2. wow to the video. goosebumps. beautiful. “i’m already wary of the other end, the one where we probably won’t get to see them up close for another 4.5 years.” was wondering how that would work. internet (maybe even snail mail=)) will be a sweet blessing connecting loved ones, i imagine. “i apologize, and at the same time i’m fairly certain the ambiguity will continue.” this made me laugh. love that shot of M, and the snow makes pretty pictures. look forward to reading “amber’s prayer.” those words of hers are Biblical, and by the grace of God i am seeing it more plainly.=) it has been so fun hearing from you this week in a number of ways. very thankful for YOU and your family.

  3. First of all, I’m totally in love with your life.
    second of all, that video just gave my friend and I goosebumps and I especially loved the ending ;)

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